South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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