ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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