i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
