spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Four minutes until I can fart!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
