I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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