you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
