Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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