First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
