she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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