New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
