found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
