The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize