Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
