Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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