soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
