We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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