i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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