Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
