I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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