If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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