Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
