Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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