with your own penis?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
