I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
