This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
