i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
