this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
