Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
