But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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