Just fell off a train. Bad.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
