we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize