and you said cock pushups were impossible
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
