I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
