Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
