Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
