i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
