she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize