I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
