the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
