I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize