i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
