Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
How's work?
Spinning.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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