Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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