Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize