I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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