counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
