I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
