Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I am available for nakedness
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