If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
