If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
