if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
