is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
