It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
