Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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