he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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