you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
