I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
