He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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