Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
