Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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