How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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