Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize