my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
