so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
