You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
