i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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