Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
