I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
