i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize