I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
