Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I stole a fireplace last night.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
