hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
