these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
