and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize