I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
