You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I pour the whiskey from now on
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
