You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
